Importance of Choosing The Right Therapist
Alex Michaelides, the author of The Silent Patient has written in his novel—
“Choosing a lover is a lot like choosing a therapist. We need to ask ourselves, is this someone who will be honest with me, listen to criticism, admit making mistakes, and not promise the impossible?”
This blog is not about drawing similarities between your lover and your therapist. Instead, it will guide you on this journey of choosing the right therapist. There is no one-size-fits-all when selecting a therapist.
Alex has summed it up well, but you must dive deeper to find the right match before hopping on a call with your friend’s referral.
According to The Print, a 36-year-old woman from Guwahati connected with a so-called therapist on an app. Speaking with him worsened her condition because he started sharing his personal stories. The news also mentions how being a therapist is a trend online.
We know there is no guarantee that THIS therapist will be THE therapist. And often, it’s about trial and error. We also know you cannot just go about trying out therapists.
As much as we love Dr. J’s analogy of “kursi” (chair) from Dear Zindagi, we want to help you find the realistic therapist.
1. Check for Qualifications and Expertise
Before anything and everything, while choosing the right therapist, checking the Mental Healthcare Professional’s (MHP) qualifications must be non-negotiable.
Qualifications
For anyone to start their practice as a therapist/counselling psychologist, the American Psychological Association (APA) mentions the following necessary conditions:
- A master’s in psychology is a mandate for any clinician to qualify as an MHP.
- APA gives a license number to clinicians who register with it.
In India, the Rehabilitation Council of India (RCI) specifies the minimum educational qualifications for becoming a clinical psychologist.
- Master’s in psychology from an RCI-recognised university
- Post-graduate diploma in clinical psychology or M.Phil. requires the following:
- Gaining experience under a senior psychologist.
- Previous experience of working with clients.
- Authoring a detailed paper in the final year.
Once completed, one can apply for the RCI registration to practice as a licensed clinical psychologist in India.
Further, anyone practising as a counselling psychologist or in a similar field should have completed their master’s in psychology from an RCI-recognised college.
Do not seek help from any practitioner or individual who lacks the necessary educational qualifications.
Expertise
Ask your therapist about their friend M.A.T.T.Y – a framework by Alma.
- M (Modality): What therapy modalities or types do you specialise in and how will you help me?
- A (Approach): What are you like as a therapist? The question seems open-ended but let your therapist share how they help their clients and what methods they use. You can ask them a follow-up question about the use of evidence-based treatment.
- T (Typical Client): What is your area of expertise, i.e., do you work with children, families, or couples?
- T (Track Record): How long have you been a therapist? You can ask for testimonials here. You can also share with them problems you want to discuss (relationships, marriage, career, feelings of anxiety, and more).
- Y (Yardstick): How do you track and measure the progress of your client?
However, these questions are not exhaustive. Henceforth, don’t shy away from asking your therapist any questions. No questions are stupid.
2. Client – Therapist Compatibility Check
Choosing the right therapist isn’t just about credentials. Ethnicity and cultural nuances are subconsciously a deciding factor. They play a significant role in deciding your comfort.
Having someone who understands where you come from makes the therapy process a bit easier. Feeling heard, acknowledged, and safe are some of the emotions you will feel early on if the therapist is from a similar ethnic and cultural background.
The ground of familiarity lubricates the initial sessions, which further helps with increased comfort levels and reduced information holding.
Age is yet another key factor when choosing a therapist. Are you looking for someone your age or older than you and hence more experienced?
According to research, gender is not a significant deciding factor impacting your therapy experience. The exception is in the case of adolescents.
Everything said and done, having a gender preference is not a sin – provided your intentions are right.
Source: Reddit
A good therapist comes with the ability to be empathetic towards you. This ability outweighs all the other factors.
These are some of the parameters you can consider when choosing your therapist. But not having a preference should not worry you—you will know what works best for you over time. The real compatibility check happens while building rapport.
3. Mode of Therapy
The mode of therapy – virtual therapy, or in-person? While choosing in-person therapy, you can also think of Group Therapy. This is because it usually takes place in the offline mode.
Your comfort in the therapy setting is directly proportional to the impact it has on therapy outcomes. Thus, choose a therapist who offers the mode of therapy you need.
Post the pandemic, virtual therapy has become accessible. It is a choice to consider if you are unsure of where to begin.
4. Evaluating Your Therapist Choice
Search for the right therapist does not end at your first session. Rather, a second journey begins as you evaluate your relationship with your therapist. It includes comfort level, safety, feeling heard, understood, and acknowledged.
However, therapy is not a bed of roses or a cakewalk. Therapy needs active work if you want to see results – over time. It’s a messy and cumbersome process to work on oneself during therapy. So, patience is the key.
Lying on a couch and coming out of the sessions with a smile of “having all figured out” is NOT what therapy is.
Therapy is about becoming comfortable with uncomfortable conversations. It (figuratively) forces you to face the fears, the lies, the bad memories, and everything else you were running away from. Laughter and tears co-exist in therapy.
But what if you’re doing everything you can and still feel something is missing? If (any of) the below pointers are relatable, maybe you need to reevaluate your therapist.
- You feel a little stuck at where you were before therapy.
- Your therapist uses the same methods, and they don’t seem to work for you.
- They are not transforming the therapeutic process based on the feedback you give to them.
- Your therapist overshares their personal stories that are not relevant to you.
- They don’t have the experience and expertise to help you with your concerns.
- Your sessions happen irregularly and there are often last-minute cancellations by your therapist.
Don’t be too quick to judge your therapist but trust your gut. You know they are your therapist when you become comfortable with uncomfortable conversations.
5. Which therapy technique is right for you?
There are several schools of therapy to begin with. You can understand these as genres having sub-genres.
Of the many methods, the following are the most common.
Psychodynamic Therapy:
Psychodynamic therapy is for you when you need help with repeating patterns arising from your past. It helps you untangle past patterns and deep-rooted issues. Your conscious mind is not always aware of these.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT):
Sometimes, you have troubling thoughts. But you don’t know how to overcome them and handle them. CBT helps you see these thoughts without trying to “fix them.” It follows a problem-oriented approach and enables you to work on the problems you are dealing with.
Humanistic or Client-Focused Therapy:
Humanistic therapy helps you adopt free will. It enables you to overcome the belief you have no control over your life. It strengthens your self-agency so that you can reach your goals.
Somatic Therapy (Movement Therapy):
Your body stores every traumatic incident you undergo as suppressed emotions (energy in motion). Somatic therapy focuses on body movement and helps release stored emotions. This way it restores the mind-body connection.
Conclusion: Make An Informed Decision
Your therapist is a human at the end of the day – just like you and me. So, don’t be quick to judge but trust your gut when it feels wrong. Remember, therapy is a marathon, not a sprint – patience is the key.
Decision-making becomes a tad–bit simpler if you have preferences – what are your expectations about/from your therapist? Before you call it quits, having a conversation with your therapist can help you – because no one enjoys being ghosted.
We don’t want you to give up on yourself. We want you to start again (maybe, this blog is a sign). It always starts with being honest about your goals and being vulnerable bit by bit.
Disclaimer: This blog is not medical advice or a substitute for any healthcare advice given under the care of a qualified MHP. The content is only for informational purposes. If you are struggling and need help, contact the emergency helpline number in your country.
Online directories to get started with choosing the right therapist for you.
- The Mind Clan: It offers many filter options to find the right therapist suitable for your needs. These search filters include price, city, mode of therapy, reach-out process, therapy modality, and the language(s) you’re comfortable with. They also ensure that the therapists understand the cultural nuances.
- TherapyRoute: You can find the right Mental Health Professional based on their professional specialisation, identity, client group, typical clients, and language(s) they offer therapy.
- Psychology India: You can find a therapist for your mental health concerns and clinical needs. You can do so by entering your location, the therapist’s name, or the company. The matching questionnaire ensures that you and your therapist are the right fit.
- DocVita: DocVita takes care of confidentiality in online therapy sessions using Google Meet. Both for in-person and virtual therapy, you can search for therapists and psychiatrists by entering their names or your location. You can check what language(s) an MHP is well-versed in and the fee they charge for different therapies.